you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Randomize