im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize