How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
