dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
