I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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