Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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