Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
