marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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