I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
