i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
