Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
