That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
