I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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