The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
