i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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