haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
