I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
