It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
