Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Found your dick twin last night
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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