Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
