Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So squirting runs in the family.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
