Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
