Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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