Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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