That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
