I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
