I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
