u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
