I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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