We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
