Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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