Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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