you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
