you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
