oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
