In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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