Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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