If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
