I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
