I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i may or may not be watching the land before time
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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