she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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