Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
