Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
