i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
