how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
