Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
