I wanna passion pit in your ass
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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