I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
