i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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