Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
