Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
