i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
