I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
