I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
