My pussy is not your playground.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
