Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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