I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
