Reggie can tackle my bush.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
