Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
