how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
