I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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