And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
