Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
