you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
