used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Is Oprah even human
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
