bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
